


The Old Pines Charm

by jadesparrow333



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons, Gen, Stanuary 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:34:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28652079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadesparrow333/pseuds/jadesparrow333
Summary: “Only a game designed by nerds would have ‘charisma’ as a fantasy power”The four members of the Pines Family gets stuck in DD&MD.For Stanuary 2021 Week 1: Charm
Kudos: 25
Collections: Stanuary





	The Old Pines Charm

It was night in the tavern, and although elves, goblins, dwarves, and paladins all participated in the rowdiness, there was a group in the back corner who did not. A group of four, made up of two older men and a teenage boy and girl, were listening intently to the hooded figure at their table.

“...and in that cave you will find the amulet that will reverse the spell and bring you back home.”

One of the men, an elven mage in green robes leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. “What’s in the cave?” he asked softly, almost threateningly.

“The amulet,” the figure answered mysteriously.

The other man, who shared the same face as the elven mage but not his pointed ears, hit the table with his fist. “That’s not what he means, you creep,” he growled. “What’s guardin’ the cave?”

The hood looked the man up and down. “I thought bards were supposed to be charming,” he said. “Why don’t you play us a song on your lute?”

“I’ll shove that lute right-”

“Grunkle Stan!” the girl in monk’s robes interrupted. “We want this person to like us!” She held out her hand in a gesture of peace. “Could you please tell us what is guarding the cave? We just want to go home.”

The hooded figure paused for a moment, as if debating what to say next, then nodded. “The amulet is guarded by a fire breathing dragon.”

The four froze, even the teenage boy dressed as a ranger who had been dutifully scribbling down everything the hooded figure said. Finally the boy took a deep breath and broke the silence. “Do you know of any weaknesses?” he asked evenly.

“No,” the hooded figure responded. “It is unlike any dragon anyone has encountered. Those who have set out to fight it have not returned.”

“Of course they haven’t,” the bard muttered, slumping back in his chair and folding his arms.

“Are there any rumors of how to defeat it?” the boy asked.

“Perhaps I’ve heard something,” the hood answered. “But it appears my flagon of mead is empty-”

The bard leapt up, knocking over his chair, ready to attack the hooded figure, while the elven mage jumped up to hold him back. “Calm down, Stanley,” he hissed. “You can’t win a fight here- it’s not part of your character traits, remember?” 

“This is stupid,” the bard grumbled, and flung his arm out of the mage’s grip. “In the real world I-”

“I know,” the mage answered quietly.

“But that doesn’t stop me,” the monk said, and she suddenly slammed the hooded figure’s head on the table. “Talk!” she yelled.

“Pumpkin, I’ve never been so proud,” the bard said as the hooded figure spluttered and the ranger stifled a laugh.

“OK,” Dipper said as the four walked through the woods the next morning. “So the dragon is immune to weapons, immune to magic, and immune to…” Dipper waved his hand as he tried to think of the word “...being outsmarted, I guess?”

“Are you sure you wrote that down right, Dip?” Mabel asked, peering over her brother’s shoulder. “ ‘Cause that rules out the character traits of me, Grunkle Ford, and you.”

“Mabel, you were there,” Dipper said exasperatedly.

“Yeah, I was kind of busy,” Mabel said cheerfully. “Hey, do you know what talent that hood guy didn’t mention?”

“Charisma,” Ford piped in. “Which means Stanley may be able to defeat the dragon.”

“Don’t sound so happy about it,” Stan grumbled. 

“Grunkle Stan, this is your time to shine!” Mabel said. “You and your charm will help us defeat the dragon!”

“Mabel, do you remember what I gotta do to use my,” Stan rolled his eyes and made air quotes “‘Charisma?’”

“Charisma only works for a bard when he sings,” Ford made a funny noise, as if trying not to laugh. He cleared his throat. “But she’s right, Stanley. It’s your turn to shine.” Another odd noise escaped him.

“Can it, Sixer,” Stan said grumpily. “I don’t sing.”

“Aw, come on Grunkle Stan!” Mabel said. “Remember that time with the zombies?”

“That was different.”

“And when you lost that bet with me and had to-”

“All right, all right!” Stan put up his hands. “Those don’t count. We’re gonna hafta think of something else.”

“Better think fast,” Dipper said. “‘Cause we made it to the cave.”

The family stopped and looked at each other. Finally, Ford spoke. “Dipper, sneak in there and perform reconnaissance. See if you can see the amulet or the dragon.”

“Be careful, bro,” Mabel said, and Stan gave him an encouraging nod. Dipper pulled up his hood and stealthily entered the cave.

“We may be able to avoid the dragon altogether,” Ford said quietly. “If there are any back tunnels or other entrances, Dipper will most certainly find them. Rangers are clever, and he’s more clever than most.”

The other two nodded in agreement, but they all waited tensely until Dipper emerged from the cave a few minutes later. “I have good news and bad news,” he said. “The good news is the dragon is sleeping. The bad news… it’s wearing the amulet.”

“No problem,” Stan said. “I’ve lifted jewelry offa plenty of sleeping people. An’ don’t I have a secondary talent of agility? ‘Cause it’s part of performing?” he asked hopefully.

Ford waved his hand and a scroll appeared out of thin air. He unrolled it and studied it intensely, then looked up, frowning. “Yes, but Mabel’s agility is worth more than yours.”

Stan threw up his hands and turned around, muttering to himself about stupid spells and stupid traits and stupid games.

“OK,” Mabel said cheerfully, “Let’s do this.”

“We’re going in with you,” Dipper said. “In case something goes wrong, we’ll be there to fix it.”

Ford nodded resolutely, and Stan turned around again to face his family. “Yeah. If that dragon messes with you, it’ll wish it was never born.” 

Mabel took a deep breath, and started for the cave, the rest of the family following.

After a few steps, all of them froze.

The dragon was huge.

And the pile of treasure it was resting on was even bigger.

“Now we’re talkin’,” Stan said, eyes bright.

“If you see the dragon stir at any moment, run,” Ford instructed Mabel. “We’ll be right here- you’ll be just fine.”

Mabel stealthily crept over to the dragon, stopping to inspect the walls of the cave. After a few moments she nodded to herself, and took out a rope, lassoed it around a boulder on a high shelf in the cave, and quickly climbed up to the shelf. Then, tying the rope around her waist, she lassoed the other end on a stalactite over the dragon, and swung so she was just dangling over the sleeping monster.

She quietly lowered herself until her fingers could just touch the amulet, and while her family waited with bated breath, she carefully pulled the amulet up so she could undo the clasp-

And dropped it back on the dragon’s neck.

The dragon roared as it arched its back, causing Mabel to swing like a pendulum along the cave, the dragon flipping around too quickly for something its size to try to catch her-

“Mabel!” Dipper shouted, and he began to shoot arrows and Ford hurled fireballs at the monster. The dragon once again whirled around, with such a look of rage in its eyes that Ford and Dipper stepped back, momentarily frozen. The dragon took a hissing breath through its nostrils, ready to shoot fire at the two-

When suddenly Stan nimbly slid in front of them, lute at the ready, and began to sing.

_I’m Stan, and I was wrong, I’m singing the Stan wrong song_

The dragon stopped and made a confused noise, not moving its eyes from Stan.

_I shouldn’t have taken that chance, now here’s my remorseful dance_

He bent his knees and bobbed up and down, strumming his lute and humming the song.

“Do the kick!” Mabel shouted from somewhere above them.

Stan rolled his eyes and groaned, but added a kick to his ridiculous dance, as the dragon settled down, intrigued at what was going on in front of it.

Dipper whispered something to Ford, and Ford nodded, shoulders shaking with laughter as he waved his staff and pointed it towards his brother, magically changing his bard clothes into... 

A shiny gold tracksuit.

“Jazzier!” Mabel called as she climbed down from the ledge.

Stan started the song again, not breaking eye contact with the dragon as he danced closer and closer.

_I’m Stan and I was wrong, I’m singing the Stan wrong song_

_I said I wouldn’t do it, but we really need that amulet_

Entranced, the dragon raised a claw and languidly pulled the amulet away from its neck, and held it towards Stan, who continued to sing and strum his lute.

_Somebody take that please, I don’t know what to do next_

“Oh come on, that didn’t even rhyme!” Ford chuckled quietly as he passed Stan to take the amulet.

_Can it, Stanford, I swear, I’m gonna push you down the stairs_

“That works!” Dipper laughed as Mabel joined him, but everything fell silent as Ford took the amulet away from the dragon.

Because the dragon was gone, and in its place stood a beautiful woman.

Stan was the first one to recover. “Hel-lo,” he said with a smirk.

“Thank you for freeing me,” the woman said. “The amulet had cursed me to never want to remove it, but you showed me through your music that not all treasure is jewels.”

“Oh come on,” Stan muttered under his breath, but then put on a winning smile. “So, come here often?”

The woman giggled and Stan’s smile grew. He leaned over and whispered something to her, then was promptly smacked before the woman disappeared.

“The old Pines Charm,” Stan said ruefully, rubbing his cheek. 

“Grunkle Stan, that was amazing!” Dipper said. “You just got right in front of the dragon! What if the song didn’t work?”

“Let’s… let’s not think about that,” Stan said, his face slightly pale.

“And you remembered my song!” Mabel ran over to hug him.

“It was the only thing I could think of,” Stan grinned, “Must mean you have some real talent, kid.” He turned to Ford. “All right, can we get out of this nerdy nightmare?”

“On our way,” Ford said with a smile. “All right, everyone hold hands…” then he glanced at Stan. “The old Pines Charm, huh?”

“Would’ve worked in real life,” Stan muttered.

“Doubtful,” Ford grinned, and Stan lightly punched him in the arm as the family disappeared.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! This was my first GF fanfic! I’m grateful for Stanuary on tumblr for kicking me into gear! I’m mysterhackin on there if you want to say hi!


End file.
